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DELAWARE's MONTH IN BASEBALL
Baseball Jokes
First ball game: A young lady arrived at her first ballgame during the 5th inning. "The score is 0 to 0," she heard a nearby fan say. "Oh, good," she cooed to her boyfriend, "then we haven't missed a thing.” Sportsmanship: At one point during a game, the coach said to one of his young players... "Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?" The little boy nodded yes. "Do you understand that what matters is whether we win together as a team?" The little boy nodded yes. "So,..." the coach continued, "when a strike is called, or you are out at first, you don't argue or curse or attack the umpire. Do you understand all that?" Again, the boy nodded yes. "Good," said the coach. "Now go over there and explain it to your mother." Future Baseball Star: A little boy was overheard talking to himself as he strutted through the backyard, wearing his baseball cap and toting a ball and bat... "I'm the greatest hitter in the world," he announced. Then, he tossed the ball into the air, swung at it, and missed. "Strike One!" he yelled. Undaunted, he picked up the ball and said again, "I'm the greatest hitter in the world!" He tossed the ball into the air. When it came down he swung again and missed. "Strike Two!" he cried. The boy then paused a moment to examine his bat and ball carefully. He spit on his hands and rubbed them together. He straightened his cap and said once more, "I'm the greatest hitter in the world!" Again he tossed the ball up in the air and swung at it. He missed. "Strike Three!" "Wow!" he exclaimed. "I'm the greatest pitcher in the world! The Pitch: There once were two best friends named Bob and Earl. They were two of the biggest baseball fans in America. Their entire adult lives revolved around baseball. Bob and Earl discussed baseball history in the winter, and they examined every box score during the season. They went to over 60 games a year. They even agreed that whoever died first would try to come back and tell the other if there was baseball in heaven. One summer night, Bob passed away in his sleep after watching a Yankee victory earlier in the evening. He died a happy man. A few nights later, his buddy Earl awoke to the sound of Bob's voice from beyond. "Bob is that you?" Earl asked. "Of course its me," Bob replied. "This is unbelievable!" Earl exclaimed, "So tell me, is there baseball in heaven?" "Well, I have some good news and some bad news for you. Which do you want to hear first?" "Tell me the good news first." "Well, the good news is that there is baseball in heaven, Earl." "Oh, that is wonderful! So what could possibly be the bad news?" "You're pitching tomorrow night." Not to worry Ump: "I didn’t know what was going on in my first game either". Not to worry Ump: "Will you let me pet your seeing-eye dog at the end of today’s game?" Not to worry Ump: 'If you decide to donate your eyes to science forget it. Nobody wants them." Not to worry Ump: 'Hey ump, look between the bars -- not at them!" Not to worry Ump (at a night game): "Hey Ump, how can you sleep with all those [Stadium] lights on?" The Rookie: A rookie pitcher was struggling at the mound, so the catcher walked up to have a talk with him. "I've figured out your problem," he told the young southpaw. "You always lose control at the same point in every game." "When is that" replied the Rookie. "Right after the National Anthem." Know Your Countries: A baseball player is sitting on the bench along with the coach. Suddenly, the coach starts saying, "Germany, Italy, Spain, Britain." The guy looks at him and says, "Huh?" to which the coach replies... "Europe!" Great Baseball Quotes - from the Long Beach (CA) Independent Press-Telegram, March 22, 1989
Casey Stengel Quotes:
Yogi Berra Quotes:
Social Club: A small social club was trying to organize a baseball team. They could only muster eight players, but were hard put to find a ninth. In desperation, they called on a new member, an Englishman, to join their team. During their first game, the Englishman came to bat. On the first pitch, he knocked the ball out of the park. "Run!" his teammates cried. "For Pete's sake, run!" The Brit turned and stared at them icily. "I jolly well shan't run," he replied. "Why should I? I'm perfectly willing to buy you chaps another ball." The Rumour: The rumor is that Pete Rose is thinking of moving to Seattle. Yes, he wants to get as far away from professional baseball as possible. (The Seattle team has had seven consecutive losing seasons.) Heard on Jay Leno… "And here in L.A., there's talk of a teachers' strike. You know, if they ever strike, here's what they should do: The striking teachers and the striking baseball players should switch jobs. You see, this way, the teachers would get paid what they deserve, and the players would get paid what they deserve". |
